Sponge bath it is.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
