one two three fourrrrnication!
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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