Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
do herpes really smell.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
