You smell like a Billy Joel song
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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