Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
