So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
