Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
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double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
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Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
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