Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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