they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
