Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
