i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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