It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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