Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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