I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
