I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
