I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
