ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Randomize
