You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i think my tv is drunk
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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