you guys were way drunker than both of me
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
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