You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
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I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
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In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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