i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
