Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
