Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize