my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Randomize
