I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize