well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
