I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
