so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
