Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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