Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Your penis caused this!
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