new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
