Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
