you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Do vagina's smell?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
