Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
