Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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