The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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