I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
