FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
