I wanna passion pit in your ass
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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