i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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