i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
