Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
