my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
ugly people sure do ruin things
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
