did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
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he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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