hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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