STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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