so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Also, beer. Big fan.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize