Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
