Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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