Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen

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  (845): i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen http://tfl.nu/31v4
  Replies (20) Good night (2353) Bad night (645)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...

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  (631): I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf... http://tfl.nu/qnwa
  Replies (12) Good night (941) Bad night (3653)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i never told you how having a club foot got me laid

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  (815): i never told you how having a club foot got me laid http://tfl.nu/v7bk
  Replies (10) Good night (3946) Bad night (865)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car

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  (803): just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car http://tfl.nu/l192
  Replies (191) Good night (16108) Bad night (2352)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.

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  (803): He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face. http://tfl.nu/7qv4
  Replies (21) Good night (1292) Bad night (5347)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket

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  (919): and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket http://tfl.nu/744s
  Replies (2) Good night (3338) Bad night (1395)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.

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  (609): get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots. http://tfl.nu/a2ct
  Replies (4) Good night (1309) Bad night (735)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.

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  (914): Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face. http://tfl.nu/vgja
  Replies (12) Good night (3467) Bad night (1147)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.

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  (606): after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls. http://tfl.nu/ni37
  Replies (17) Good night (5572) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends

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  (919): Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends http://tfl.nu/02aa
  Replies (3) Good night (1112) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.

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  (802): shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots. http://tfl.nu/6u08
  Replies (12) Good night (2137) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"

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  (403): I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!" http://tfl.nu/cbkk
  Replies (0) Good night (488) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES

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  (210): DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES http://tfl.nu/t9nl
  Replies (5) Good night (1427) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"

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  (845): I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight" http://tfl.nu/gosi
  Replies (2) Good night (433) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING

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  (410): SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING http://tfl.nu/00e7
  Replies (2) Good night (310) Bad night (888)

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