I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.