Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.

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  (248): Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious. http://tfl.nu/r1dy
  Replies (19) Good night (1174) Bad night (1330)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?

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  (614): youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right? http://tfl.nu/3ekq
  Replies (19) Good night (821) Bad night (1860)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.

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  (813): Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever. http://tfl.nu/e0dp
  Replies (33) Good night (5713) Bad night (981)
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  (530): View more from California

  My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.

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  (530): My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower. http://tfl.nu/udbm
  Replies (16) Good night (740) Bad night (5698)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.

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  (570): Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break. http://tfl.nu/c9vz
  Replies (34) Good night (5136) Bad night (1012)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Some one left their pants in the elevator.

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  (617): Some one left their pants in the elevator. http://tfl.nu/4aog
  Replies (7) Good night (4376) Bad night (950)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.

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  (403): Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms. http://tfl.nu/yg77
  Replies (2) Good night (2327) Bad night (1123)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left

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  (614): Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left http://tfl.nu/4sdk
  Replies (5) Good night (788) Bad night (2418)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed

  (425): View more from Washington

  Yeah, that sounds like my life.

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  (971): I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed (425): Yeah, that sounds like my life. http://tfl.nu/4i94
  Replies (5) Good night (2262) Bad night (807)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.

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  (970): You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again. http://tfl.nu/ptr6
  Replies (26) Good night (2253) Bad night (1124)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off

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  (219): he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off http://tfl.nu/kmmo
  Replies (10) Good night (1307) Bad night (468)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."

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  (256): I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now." http://tfl.nu/g734
  Replies (6) Good night (1783) Bad night (561)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?

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  (630): I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about? http://tfl.nu/f79i
  Replies (4) Good night (496) Bad night (563)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.

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  (+44): The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead. http://tfl.nu/d3l5
  Replies (1) Good night (1028) Bad night (271)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out

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  (406): I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out http://tfl.nu/eqat
  Replies (3) Good night (361) Bad night (550)

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