I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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