what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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