So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just threw up on my dentist
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
