babies were throwing up all over the place
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.