god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
so that wasnt chicken after all
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
