Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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