you guys were way drunker than both of me
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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