she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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