Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
it hurts more in the daytime
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
