I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Sacagawea was the original milf.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
