Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
