I'm laying in your front yard are you home
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
How drunk are you?
Completed.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
